Hi sweet friends! If you’re here for the weekly Dream.Create.Inspire. link up party I’m sorry to disappoint you. I’m skipping this week’s party, because sometimes life deals you different cards and it takes every ounce of you to just stay afloat. That’s how I’m feeling anyway. Priorities right friends? It’s time I start practicing what I preach.
I’m writing you at five in the morning. I’ve slept maybe a couple hours. Zeno woke up with a wet diaper so after he went back to sleep I got up to get work done, and even though I’m exhausted my mind won’t shut off to sleep, so here I am.
I’m coming at you with a heavy heart.
Nate is going into unexpected surgery in a few hours. Just typing that leaves a big lump in my throat. He had to have surgery a few months back to remove some nasty kidney stones that just wouldn’t pass from his body, and unfortunately he’s been experiencing some symptoms the last few weeks that landed him into a doctor’s visit yesterday. The result they came up with after he saw his doctor was surgery to hopefully resolve the issues that are happening. If you can please shoot up a prayer or send all the good vibes, we’d really appreciate it!
I have been trying to not let my mind wander, but it’s proving a difficult task. Even with the many blessings this summer has brought, it has also brought a lot of turmoil and changes for loved ones around us. Even though it doesn’t affect us directly, it’s heart breaking. My heart has definitely found it’s way to some dark places. I can’t shake the negativity and feelings of despair.
I feel as though I’ve been in full on survival mode yet again, and now with Nate going back into another surgery, I find my heart and mind be tested once again. Tested doesn’t seem like the right word, but at the same time it’s the perfect one.
The thing is I’m “ok”. There’s many many many moments in my day where we smile, and laugh, and love to the fullest. How can we not when we have each other.
But the other hard truth is, the one I can’t capture in a pretty square image to show you on social media – is that this season of life is hard and if I’m being completely honest it’s kicking my trash.
I know I need to look at it as a season of growth, and I mostly do. Other times when I don’t, then I feel guilty for feeling so bad because of the many blessings we do receive daily. Talk about a vicious cycle right? Why am I putting this out there? You see, I opened up to some of my best friend’s last night and they helped put things in perspective for me.
I am not alone. I’ve said it many times and I’ll continue to say it – our village and my tribe rocks my face off. I don’t lean on them enough.
Things will suck sometimes. It’s ok. It’s also ok to not be ok, which reminds me of this post.
A good ugly cry will most of the time give some relief.
Everyone is fighting some sort of battle, whether they share it on social media or not.
Everyone deals with those battles differently.
Doing your best, even if you don’t think it’s good enough, is enough.
How do you get yourself out of a rut friends?
If you’re going through something, and you’re feeling alone reach out to someone. Verbalizing things out loud can make a world of difference. Be mindful of who you interact with daily. Be sure you’re conspicuously surrounding yourself with people who love you unconditionally, and who will lift you up.
Stepping off my soap box to go catch some z’s. Maggie’s first day of school is in a couple hours too. How is our 1st born now a 1st grader? Talk about all.the.feelings. Thanks for listening friends. If you need a hearing ear, as usual I’m here.